trying to become a public speaker

Today, I’ve experienced my first public speaking competition. This article will serve as a way of marking a milestone in the journey of learning how to talk in front of an audience and how to capture the attention of a group of people.

why?

“Fear of public speaking is a common form of anxiety", as seen in this article. A couple of months ago, I found out about this public speaking competition, and I saw it as an opportunity to pursue an activity that is out of my comfort zone and pretty scary in general as well. I saw this event as a chance to step beyond the comfortable bubble I’ve always known.

the theme of the speech

The topic required for the speech was the use of the following Shakespeare quote from Hamlet, said by Ophelia: “We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” This opened many directions, but one subject I wanted to cover throughout my speech was definitely psychology. Hamlet is all about revenge, so I decided to give an introduction to Albert Ellis’ Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy REBT, making use of events from Shakespeare’s masterpiece, and later on moved the focus to real-life examples where REBT proved useful.

what comes next?

First, I am qualified to participate in the next public speaking competition in March.

Second, I will try to pursue the **activities** from which my desire for speaking publicly all started. What I’m referring to when I say activities is video content, such as YouTube vlogs, or courses for the field I am working in.

the speech

As this article is about sharing a milestone of my public speaking journey, I had to publish the script of my first talk

Introduction into Hamlet

Think of the last time you were truly angry—your heart pounding, body tense, and the urge for revenge rising. I’m sure that all of us experienced a moment like the one I just described, but what truly matters are the consequences that come afterwards.

Let’s examine where anger leads by turning to Shakespeare’s Hamlet. There, a prince learns that his uncle murdered his father. As a result, he considers himself responsible for avenging his father’s death, unleashing a cycle of distrust and bloodshed, where almost everyone surrounding him ends up dead. Clearly, anger only fueled destruction.

One character, in particular, reveals the meaning behind all of these dramatic events.

What do we learn from this story - introduction into Ophelia’s quote

And that is Ophelia, Hamlet’s potential wife. She once said, “We know what we are but know not what we may be.”. Her quote reassembles perfectly the dangerous consequences of anger. In our comfort zones, we understand ourselves, but we cannot predict how anger will reshape us. Ophelia never foresaw how the grief and wrath of Hamlet changed him, and led to a tragic ending.

Introduction into REBT

Hook: Ok, but how can we distance ourselves from the dangers of anger?

A practical way is through Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, or REBT. It is a psychotherapeutic approach that is based on the assumption that our "emotional" reactions are largely caused by our conscious and unconscious beliefs. For instance, Hamlet's pursuit of revenge, which had caused his death, came from his strong belief that it was his duty to seek justice for his father’s murder, justice caused by his own hands.

Well, REBT suggests that replacing rigid thoughts like the one mentioned earlier, with flexible ones helps people handle challenges more effectively. A Hamlet using REBT, questions himself whether killing his uncle is the right way to go, realizing how harmful it would be for himself and others, like Ophelia. Instead, he considers an alternative, like exposing his uncle or seeking help, pursuing justice without violence or damaging relationships.

How to use REBT

So, how do we actually put REBT into practice? We have to use it’s core concept, that’s known as the “ABC model”. It is just a structure for breaking down an emotional reaction, dividing it into three different sections, each represented by a letter from its “ABC”, and we have:

• A, which stands for the Activating Event: This is the situation that triggers an emotional response. For Hamlet, it would be the discovery of his father’s murder and his uncle’s apparent guilt.

• B, which refers to our Beliefs about that event. These so-called beliefs are nothing more than the thoughts and ideas we have about a situation. Hamlet serves as a clear example of such belief, as reflected in his words in the following quote:

"The time is out of joint: O cursed spite,

That ever I was born to set it right!" (Act 1, Scene 5)

In this part of the tragedy, it is clear how Hamlet expresses his belief that it is his responsibility to “set things right” by avenging his father’s murder.

• C which stands for the Consequence, or the emotional and behavioral outcome of these beliefs: For Hamlet, the consequence is a series of tragic events, such as murders.

The ABC model simply helps us identify and challenge our beliefs. Afterwards, REBT suggests that we have to dispute what had happened, and find out how an effective new belief would look like.

Now, let’s summarise by seeing how REBT works in reality. Imagine you’re stuck in traffic on your way to work:

• Activating Event (A): the fact that you’re delayed by unexpected gridlock.
• Beliefs (B): sounding like: “I always mess up my timing. This is ruining my entire day.”
• Consequences (C): Feelings of frustration, anxiety, and anger.

Perhaps by reminding yourself that traffic is beyond your control and that you don’t “always mess up.”, you end up with an effective new belief, convincing yourself that “Traffic simply happens sometimes”

Real life example

So far, we understand what REBT is, but all this theory is useless without considering a real-life story that shows its power. Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian, wasn’t just battling in the pool—he was battling intense anger fueled by self-doubt and overwhelming pressure. I mean, there are still articles on the internet that rank controversies about him.

But through therapy and REBT-like techniques, he confronted and reshaped the beliefs driving his anger, fully recovering from his dark past.

Why is REBT important?

This is why REBT matters—it helps us take control of our emotions and lives. By replacing destructive thoughts with clarity and purpose, we can overcome anger and avoid experiencing the bitterness of revenge, as we have discovered that revenge is not sweet at all.